Forever and beyond
by RoseScor90
Summary: Written for the Opening line challenge! He had always stood outside the house. Will he go in today? What awaits him inside? Will he finally find the peace he had been missing? Will he finally find his love?


Disclaimer: Not JK…

"You're a coward, Black. A plain, dumb coward. And you'll regret your cowardice for the rest of your pathetic life"

Those were the very last words she had ever said to him. Exactly a week before her family was attacked on the eve of Christmas. There were no survivors. And she had been right. As she always tended to be.

He regretted everything he had done, as far as Mary McDonald was concerned. Not that he was proud of everything else he had done, but still, if there was a chance for him to undo one thing in his life it'd be a tough fight between becoming the Potters' secret keeper and breaking up with Mary McDonald.

It had appeared the right thing to do at that time, I mean, who falls in love at seventeen? And so, he had done the one thing that he knew would keep her out of his life. He had broken up with her, a year after graduating out of Hogwarts, and had not visited her ever since. But there hadn't been much time left for him to visit her, as she had…no, he wouldn't think of that day. That day when he had opened up the Prophet to stare right into her mesmerizing azure eyes. A photograph was all that remained now. All that was left of the incredibly spirited woman he had loved with all his heart.

And now, strolling in the park beside the McDonald residence, or the crumbling wreck that was left, he wondered.

If he hadn't broken up with her, would she still be alive? Would she be walking along with him now, hands entwined, chatting animatedly about whoever she was setting poor Remus up with? But may be, may be it was right that she died. Before James and Lily. She'd not have been able to take that.

But that did not erase the jagged feeling in his heart. If only he had had been brave enough. If only he hadn't broken up with her. If only he had told her he loved her… Sirius chuckled wryly. That was all that was left of his 'pathetic' life, as she'd called it. If only's and speculations.

He stopped before the collapsing cottage, hesitating. This wasn't the first time he was standing before the house. Shrugging off the lingering sense of grief, he proceeded into the house, past the gate which broke down at his touch, through the garden that was now decaying, past the ward that would repel Muggles. Now that he had the chance to look closely at it, he thought the house had retained the air of animation it had always held. He almost expected Mary's mum to come around the corner, berating him for being late.

But she wouldn't. Neither would Mary jump down the stairs, always two at a time, and topple at the last step and fall right into his waiting arms. She had always found it funny, and she'd do it again just for the fun of it. And he'd just grin, happy because she was, willing to catch her a thousand times, if it made her smile. He ignored the stairs for the moment, walking through the narrow hallway he knew would lead into the kitchen.

It had once been spotless, just the way Mrs McDonald had liked it. He looked out the window facing the backyard of the house. They, Mary and him, had spent many days sitting on the banks of the pond, which was now filled with moss and algae. Watching the sunset had been her most favorite pastime, and then she'd spot the Sirius, and say it wasn't as amazing as he was.

He turned away from the window, noticing for the first time, that there were plates on the table. They must have been having dinner. He could almost hear the lively chatter that would have been present at the Christmas dinner, having been there for a few years. He noticed a glint on the floor and bent down to pick it. The cool stone shone in the setting sunlight from the window, and the pale grey stone twinkled, as if winking at him. It brought the images of her seventeenth birthday when he had gifted her this very chain with the pale grey gem pendant. He had scoured every single jewel store he knew and he knew it had all been worth it, when her eyes had widened with surprise and joy. She had always worn it, saying it reminded her of his eyes.

She must have been wearing it still, even after they had broken up. It gave him an inexplicable flash of joy to know that she hadn't moved on. That he hadn't been the only one who had not been able to forget the other.

He wore the chain around his neck, and the sudden weight on his chest overwhelmed him. As if she had taken her rightful place back in his heart. But the pendant did not feel warm. It was cold and hard. Just like he was.

Re entering the hallway, he decided to take the risk. Entering the one place he knew would surely break him down. Knowing she had still loved him did nothing to help. The staircase was rickety, and he had to catch on to the banister more than a few times, before he reached the top. The first floor was comparatively untouched. All of them must have been having dinner.

He waited with bated breath before the closed door. Heaving a sigh, he opened the door. And was met with the most amazing sight he had ever seen. It wasn't the room; it wasn't the decoration; It wasn't the air of anticipation that surrounded him; that held him rooted at the entrance of the room. It was the figure of Mary McDonald that stood in the middle of the room, smiling at him, that did it.

He knew he wasn't dreaming, because none of his dreams had conjured a ghost version of her. She glided towards him, soundless, all the while looking him in the eye. "Sirius" her voice was the same wind chime that rocked him to his very soul. "I've been waiting for you for more than a decade, you know?" she said and giggled at her own words. "I sound cheesy, don't I?" Seeing that he wasn't reacting, she neared him, and stopped only a few inches away from him.

"Sirius? Sirius? Anybody home?" she waved a hand before his face, and Sirius tried to catch it. Of course it passed right through. Mary sighed, "Yeah, it is a tad bit irritating, not being able to touch anything"

"Mary?"

"Well done, Einstein" she said sarcastically, raising one eyebrow in a signature gesture.

"You're…you're…a ghost"

"Gotta give it to you, you're the dumbest person I've ever seen or dated"

"You only ever dated me"

"Not the point"

"What _is _the point then?"

"That I've been waiting for you for… how many years has it been?"

"Seventeen" he said absentmindedly. "But, why?"

"Way to make someone feel loved, Sirius. Thing is…I…sorta wanted to meet you one more time before I…moved on"

"Move on?"

"Something I was never able to do in my real life, yes. But I meant my afterlife"

"You chose to stay behind"

"Gee! Do they teach you to state the obvious now a days? Or did you pick it up from your Azkaban cell mates?" The mention of Azkaban made him cringe, and she turned serious.

"It's all in the past Sirius" she said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, though he couldn't feel it.

"But James…Lils…"

"I know. And I've had years to deal with it. It's you that has to learn"

"But how could I? They were my friends! James was my brother!"

"They've moved on, Sirius. They're happy where they are. You don't have to mourn their loss anymore. James wouldn't want you to. Lily entrusted you with Harry believing you'd teach him to enjoy life, the way you, James and Remus did. How do you think you've fared?" Sirius averted his eyes, unable to answer.

"I don't have much time left. Just know this, Sirius. I'll love you. Forever. And beyond. Until I see you on the other side of the veil…" she waved as her translucent form began disappearing.

"Other side of the veil?"

"Though I'd let you go so soon, did you?" she winked before her face disappeared.

He only understood when he was already falling through the veil. That was why he wasn't afraid. He knew who he'd meet on the other side.

"Hey there, loser"

"I love you too, Mary"

Forever, and beyond.

A/n:Review!


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